On December 26, also known as Boxing Day, we went to my grandfather-in-law's(is that accurate?) church in San Diego. We were late of course, perhaps for consistency sake, and walked into the service as they were wrapping up the singing. If I recall correctly, they were in a series that was going through Christ's genealogy. Very fitting, I thought, but then the pastor started in a direction that I thought was very interesting and somewhat intense considering the season.
He covered David and Bathsheba. A king committing adultery, impregnating the woman while her husband is at war, coming up with ways to make her husband think he it was his own, ordering that Uriah be in the front line then draw back so death is definite, the illegitimate child dies, David mourns for days then worships God, God sends Nathan to get David to essentially condemn himself. Heavy in the midst of lights, dessert, gifts and Charlie Brown. But he hit something that I've been thinking about.
He talked about un-confessed sin. He gave a recent example of how he had ordered a netbook for his wife. It arrived, but it wasn't exactly what he wanted. He did notice that the cable was substantially longer than the one he had for his computer and was compatible! He confessed being tempted to switch the cables out as he returned the unwanted computer for the one he wanted, thinking that a) they wouldn't notice and b) he deserved it for the inconvenience.
Now this may be a silly example, but it touched on a reality that plays out in both big and small ways. The truth is that it doesn't matter the size of the issue, wrong is wrong. What it pointed out for me is that a lot of times we don't trust God, that He is Just and will handle matters. I find that when I feel I am wronged, I want to take justice into my own hands by righting the situation for myself. Maybe I'm extra corrupt, but examples of this could be where you're upset that your boss makes you work overtime without compensation. So, what do you do? You might Facebook at work to get your time back, or you might buy yourself a coffee at the companies expense. Here you think, I've been wronged, so if I do a wrong in return, I'm justified. Well, you might rationalize it so it doesn't sound that negative, but its the same.
I think it is so easy to fall into these traps. When we've been wronged, we still need to be obedient and do what is right. It is so tempting and in a lot of situations its almost expected, but we are called to something better. The implications can be scary too because you are taking control and saying that you don't trust God to take care of you/situation or that He knows what is going on. In addition, you lower yourself to the "oppressor's" level and are consequently, one and the same.
A lot of times you can think you are doing the right thing and it may even seem morally sound. We have to pray as we act and trust that God will lead us so what is right.
I don't know if I just have a little bit of a vengeance streak in me or if others struggle with this type of thing. But I'm praying through the thoughts and learning to trust that God is ever present. I'm learning that so many times things seem "gray" and its hard to tell what is right and wrong when everything seems a little bit of both.
God, may we release everything to you. May Your Will be done, NOT mine!
