New beginnings.
I suppose it is not so new, I have spent the last 17 out of 26 years of life in school. While it was so normal before, starting again after not being in it for 4 years is strange.
Hard to believe the first week back is already coming to an end. I know that it is going to move fast and its going to be filled with plenty of stress, joy and newness.
There is a strange reversal as I am older than my wife and so I was out of school and working for several years while she finished up. I think she almost feels left out as some of her friends and peers are still in school and here I am starting up again.
The familiarity of boredom and restlessness is still present. I thought I would escape this because of doing what I want to do, paying for it myself, and knowing more clearly what the end result is. Nope! You still get bored in class and you still get boring teachers! Reality check!
The night before school began I battled some fear induced insomnia. Questions, so many questions. I wondered, am I doing the right thing? Am I right for the field of social work, is it right for me? Did I make this decision on my own without God's leading? Should I be feeling extremely passionate and excited instead of nervous?
I spent the first 4 hours of the first day in an orientation then scooted off to class. Three hours and then an additional hour of lab with the same professor. He told us that there was no way he was going to keep us for the full 4 hours because he can't talk that long. What a relief!
The reality? He really enjoyed the sound of his own voice and did talk the entire 4 hours.
I thought I was going to die.
On my first day of class?
I really began to question myself if I was getting this bored on the first day in my first class. Fortunately my wife talked some sense into me and got me over my doubts and self-inadequacy.
I am excited to learn and be in the classroom again. To glean from the incredible experience of my peers who have such diverse backgrounds and have done so much and to supplement my experience with theory and knowledge and to understand more. I am excited to do an internship in a new place.
Since it is a new experience I am excited to try and make new habits, to know that it is a fresh start.
Well, some habits die hard. Already procrastinating...
Its definitely a new lifestyle. Riding a bike to school! That is an adventure--anyone that knows me well has probably seen how maladroit I am when it comes to bikes!
all for now. sorry for the scattered, incongruous thoughts.
